Bancuri Faine :) sunt sigur ca o sa va placa

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
A man trying to understand the nature of God and asked him:
„God, how long is a million years to you?”
God answered: ” A million years is like a minute.”
Then the man asked: „God, how much is a million dollars to you?”
And God replied: „A million dollars is like a penny.”
Finally the man asked: „God, could you give me a penny?”
And God said, „In a minute.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday to spend the day
hiking in the wilderness. Rounding a sharp bend in the trail, he collided
with a bear and was sent tumbling down a steep grade. He landed on a rock
and broke both legs.
With the ferocious bear charging at him from a distance, the preacher prayed,
„O Lord, I’m so sorry for skipping services today. Please forgive me and grant
me just one wish – make a Christian out of that bear that’s coming at me!”
At that very instant, the bear skidded to a halt, fell to his knees, clasped
his paws together, and began to pray aloud at the preacher’s feet: „Dear God,
please bless this food I am about to receive.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Bill Gates in Afterlife
Bill Gates died. He was sent to the Afterlife Waiting Room. He was met by
St. Peter, who asked him if he wanted to go to Heaven or Hell, and if he’d
like to see them before he decided. Bill said yes, and St. Peter snapped his fingers.
They appeared on a sunny beach, with people dancing, swimming, and playing volleball.
Just basically having a wonderful time. Good food, good music, good people.
Bill turns to St. Peter and says, „Wow, Heaven is great!” St. Peter says,
„This isn’t Heaven, it’s Hell. Want to see Heaven?”
Mr. Gates nods yes, and they appear in a shady park, with a few old people
sitting on benches feeding birds. A gentle breeze blows by, and all is quiet
and serene.
St. Peter asks Bill, „Well, which would you like?” Bill thinks for a minute,
and says, „Well, if this is Heaven, then I’ll take Hell.”
Instantly, he was plunged up to his neck in red-hot lava, the screams of other
tortured souls filling his ears. He looks up, and sees St. Peter in the waiting
room. Bill calls out to him, and said, „Hey! What’s going on? Where’s the beach?
The bikini-clad women? The party?”
St. Peter turns from his Macintosh to face Bill, and says, „That was just the demo.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Un individ cu un caine intra Ă®ntr-un bar. Comanda o bere si zice: – Am un caine foarte destept! Dupa cateva minute: – Cainele meu este cel mai inteligent! Lumea din jur se uita deja urat la el. Paharul s-a umplut de tot cand el afirma: – Cainele meu vorbeste! – Dar, bine, omule, ne crezi tampiti?! Cum sa vorbeasca un animal? – Hai sa facem pariu! Voi Ă®i puneti o Ă®ntrebare si daca nu raspunde ma scoateti de aici Ă®n suturi, dar daca raspunde, faceti cinste! – Bine, ma! Ia sa vedem! – Ma animalule, cum se cheama chestia aia din piele cu care tii calul?! Cainele se uita Ă®n ochii lor si spune: – Ham! – Asta a fost un latrat!, si-l scot Ă®n suturi pe individ afara. Cainele se duce docil dupa el si-l Ă®ntreaba: – Trebuia sa spun lesa?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Se duce Ion la vanatoare, isi ia cainele cu el, calareste pe cel mai bun cal al lui… la un moment dat nimereste o portiune de drum plina de pietre.
– Diiii gloabo, alearga mai repede ca pierdem vanatul!; Calul tot la fel de incet… Ion se enerveaza incepe sa dea in el
– Hai gloabo mai repede!.. La care calul se intoarce la el si se rasteste:
– Ce tot tipi ba la mine, nu vezi ca-i drumul plin de pietre?
Ion aude…se da jos de pe cal o ia la fuga prin padure si cainele dupa el.
La unmoment dat gafaind se opreste Ion obosit.. se sprijuna de un copac, caine il ajunge si ii spune:
– Ba Ioane ce frica mi-a fost cand am auzit calul vorbind….
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

About Marius

Imi place sa daruiesc si de aceea sa ofer si celorlalti, oportunitatile pe care eu le-am primit.
Acest articol a fost publicat în Uncategorized și etichetat , . Pune un semn de carte cu legătura permanentă.

Lasă un răspuns

Completează mai jos detaliile despre tine sau dă clic pe un icon pentru autentificare:

Logo WordPress.com

Comentezi folosind contul tău WordPress.com. Dezautentificare / Schimbă )

Poză Twitter

Comentezi folosind contul tău Twitter. Dezautentificare / Schimbă )

Fotografie Facebook

Comentezi folosind contul tău Facebook. Dezautentificare / Schimbă )

Fotografie Google+

Comentezi folosind contul tău Google+. Dezautentificare / Schimbă )

Conectare la %s